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eXXXtremely Important questions which require answers. posted 26 Jul 2005, 19:07 by Super Frog, Candidate

1. In reading a lot of fantasy, I have been perplexed by one common thing. In fantasy, an arm is an arm, a foot is a foot, and an eye is an eye, but a penis is almost never a penis. Instead authors come up with a bunch euphemisms; including phallus, spear, sword, rod, sex, etc. What is with this? 2. What is the origin of the "peach" in reference to vagina? Did one of your friends have sex with a peach then told you, "Hey, Scott, this thing is better than my girlfriend!"? Inquiring minds want to know! :) view post


posted 27 Jul 2005, 15:07 by target, Auditor

It could be something to do with the fact that men come up with a million euphamisms for the word penis, which im not going into now, but it could be an intersting thread...a bit like the mallts mallet thread. Anyway, i wouldn't really call phallus a euphamism, isn't it a more technical term? Or classical maybe? Im not sure. Wouldn't really know about peach. But if ou can have a million for penis, then why not for vagina? view post


posted 27 Jul 2005, 23:07 by Super Frog, Candidate

[quote="target":3iwecgfd]thread. Anyway, i wouldn't really call phallus a euphamism, isn't it a more technical term? Or classical maybe? Im not sure. [/quote:3iwecgfd] Actually, its Latin. view post


posted 27 Jul 2005, 23:07 by target, Auditor

Thankyou, that was really annoying me. I should know better, seen as i have studied Latin. Not that i'm any good. At least i was sort of right with it being Classical :D view post


posted 28 Jul 2005, 00:07 by Lucimay, Subdidact

maybe vagina is latin for peach! :lol: view post


posted 28 Jul 2005, 00:07 by Atropos, Commoner

I know the above post was a joke but I found the etymology of the word interesting, so here it is. vagina 1682, from Latin vagina "sheath, scabbard" (pl. vaginæ), from PIE *wag-ina- (cf. Lith. voziu "ro cover with a hollow thing"), from base *wag- "to break, split, bite." Probably the ancient notion is of a sheath made from a split piece of wood (see sheath). A modern medical word; the Latin word was not used in an anatomical sense in classical times. view post


posted 28 Jul 2005, 01:07 by target, Auditor

interesting view post


posted 28 Jul 2005, 11:07 by Echoex, Auditor

Perhaps the 'peach' euphamism has more aesthetic similarities than we're recognizing. Vagina vs. Peach (I never thought I'd be writing THAT sentence again). Consider a soft, delicate fold of flesh that covers and nurtures a seed. Cut a wedge from a peach and take a look. It's not 'jeezus christ, look how much this resembles a cooch!' similar, but there's definitely something vaginal about it. I honestly quite like the term. It's unique to this writer, and it makes me want to go out and shove my face into a big barrel of peaches... .Ex. view post


Re: eXXXtremely Important questions which require answers. posted 28 Jul 2005, 12:07 by Super Frog, Candidate

[quote="Anonymous Coward":3o9ad9hx] Do you mean to say you seriously don't notice any suggestive visual similarities?[/quote:3o9ad9hx] Are you suggesting that a peach tastes like a vagina? I highly doubt a vagina has even [i:3o9ad9hx]half[/i:3o9ad9hx] the nutrients a peach has. Not to mention that yummy citrus flavor. Any visual similarites are products of your warped mind and imaginary things are quite irrelevant when discussing peaches and vaginas! view post


posted 28 Jul 2005, 13:07 by target, Auditor

I don't think anyone could suggest they shared similarities in taste, however, Echoex makes an excellent point: [quote:34l16wlm]Vagina vs. Peach (I never thought I'd be writing THAT sentence again). Consider a soft, delicate fold of flesh that covers and nurtures a seed. Cut a wedge from a peach and take a look. It's not 'jeezus christ, look how much this resembles a cooch!' similar, but there's definitely something vaginal about it. [/quote:34l16wlm] Excellent mainly in that it had me laughing for about 5 minutes. Any 'warped' simmilarities that there may or may not be, this still provides for such an entertaining discussion that i think we should delve further. What other euphamisms can we think of ofr both penis and vagina? I'm gonna start the ball rolling with 'pork sword' (penis) view post


posted 28 Jul 2005, 15:07 by Lucimay, Subdidact

i KNEW this would degenerate :lol: wug pocket wug stick wuga wuga view post


posted 28 Jul 2005, 15:07 by target, Auditor

I bet you did, but so did i. I even said it in my first response i think. Still, it's funny. OK, um, pocket rocket view post


posted 28 Jul 2005, 16:07 by Lucimay, Subdidact

and also...just from the female point of view, i LIKE the peach metaphor myself! peaches are beautiful. maybe bakker is a steve miller fan... anything's better than, what was that word echoex used? cooch? gad. view post


posted 28 Jul 2005, 16:07 by target, Auditor

Yeah, thats not the nicest of terms. view post


posted 28 Jul 2005, 16:07 by target, Auditor

And does the ter 'cooch' actually mean anything? I mean, where is it derived from? And if anyone says its a euphamism for vagina so help me God i will destroy them :D view post


posted 28 Jul 2005, 16:07 by Lucimay, Subdidact

not nice but definately funny!! better than the OTHER C-word. view post


posted 28 Jul 2005, 16:07 by Echoex, Auditor

Okay. I WON'T tell you that the term 'cooch' is a euphemism for the word vagina. From my limited knowledge, it comes from the term "hoochie-coochie", which was a carnival strip-tease back in the day. It was also referred to as "dancing the cooch". So it likely evolved to mean the bits and pieces one might see when watching someone strip. view post


posted 28 Jul 2005, 16:07 by target, Auditor

Cheers Echoex, that saves me a LOT of hassle. That makes sense, and a little bit of background into the world of sexual semantics there. Brilliant. And yes, it is definately better than the other C-word - the one only to be used in extreme cases. view post


posted 28 Jul 2005, 16:07 by Lucimay, Subdidact

oh of course! i'm a ditz. hoochie coochie. dancing the cooch, of course. and i've even heard it used in this context recently!! HBO series Carnivale. view post


posted 28 Jul 2005, 21:07 by Atanvarno, Peralogue

Just thought I'd jump in to defend 'peach'. Here's a picture: http://www.christinespies.com/images/peach.jpg You can kind of see a similarity, if you aproach it with a squint and a poetic mind. view post


posted 28 Jul 2005, 22:07 by target, Auditor

Brilliant. I can see what your talking about. This thread is a source of endless humour. view post


posted 28 Jul 2005, 22:07 by Lucimay, Subdidact

Fabulous photo!!!!! lovely :lol: thank you Atanvarno for the excellent visual!!! :) view post


posted 29 Jul 2005, 03:07 by saintjon, Auditor

Cooch is a hell of a lot better than axe-wound... *vomits* view post


posted 29 Jul 2005, 11:07 by Echoex, Auditor

Of course, you'd never hear 'cooch' used in any quasi-romantic context. Could you imagine?! "She tugged anxiously on his ear with her mouth, all the while feeling the gentle heat building in her cooch." This is fun. I'm going to start a new thread on "Our own, totally unique, original euphemisms for naughty bits"...keep your eye out for it... .Ex. view post


posted 29 Jul 2005, 15:07 by Lucimay, Subdidact

hahahahahahaha!!!! echoex! hilare! and saintjon, axe-wound????????!!!!! hahahahaha! i suppose that's what spawned "slash" or "gash"??!!! lordy. view post


posted 29 Jul 2005, 20:07 by Cu'jara Cinmoi, Author of Prince of Nothing

[quote:dg52n9vp]1. In reading a lot of fantasy, I have been perplexed by one common thing. In fantasy, an arm is an arm, a foot is a foot, and an eye is an eye, but a penis is almost never a penis. Instead authors come up with a bunch euphemisms; including phallus, spear, sword, rod, sex, etc. What is with this? [/quote:dg52n9vp] Well, for one, it sparks threads like these! The problem with 'penis' is that it's an effeminate word. [quote:dg52n9vp]2. What is the origin of the "peach" in reference to vagina? Did one of your friends have sex with a peach then told you, "Hey, Scott, this thing is better than my girlfriend!"? Inquiring minds want to know! [/quote:dg52n9vp] I honestly can't remember... And if I could, I'm not so sure I would want to remember here. :wink: view post


posted 29 Jul 2005, 21:07 by Lucimay, Subdidact

scott, you're so good to actually entertain answering this "thought-provoking" thread!!!! :lol: actually, since the challenge began to come up with more metaphors i've been wracking my brain trying to think of something BETTER than "peach" but, whatever the genesis of the idea, it's perfect and lovely. shows a true appreciation which is much appreciated by at least this particular female fan of the books!! regarding posting the cover, couldn't you do it with a url? view post


posted 29 Jul 2005, 22:07 by target, Auditor

Brilliant, we've even had the author browsing through our delerium. That's probably not the correct term. Who cares? But now, lets move the craziness to Echoex's thread, well done sir! view post


posted 30 Jul 2005, 15:07 by Tattooed Hand, Auditor

May I point out that the peaches of women of different colors are, well, different colors... it's not all pink and peach...for those of you who have encountered multi-cultural peaches, you'll know what I am talking about. Personally, I find the word peach annoying. Sure, it's a great fruit, but it's something you gobble down and then throw the pit away. So I imagine a peach is appropriate if you only encounter it once. :oops: view post


posted 30 Jul 2005, 15:07 by target, Auditor

Multi-cultural peaches? I have to say i have never encountered a multi-cultural pech. Are the diferences similar to those between a European and an African swallow? view post


posted 30 Jul 2005, 15:07 by Tattooed Hand, Auditor

You can see it in European contexts too, but most common in darker, more olivey types. One hint is the color of nipples. Some are pink and some are darker, almost brown. Well, that usually indicates darker colors down under too. Like black red and purple. I have a Scandanavian friend who is like that - with brown hair and green eyes - who swears its the Finnish blood. view post


posted 30 Jul 2005, 15:07 by target, Auditor

Yeah, i was being pedantic and talking about actual peaches :D sorry. As for your Scandinavian friend, brown hair and green eyes swearing its Finnish blood? interesting i was under the stereotypical impression that they were all tall, blonde and blue eyed. Why would the tv lie to me? :D view post


posted 07 Aug 2005, 19:08 by Super Frog, Candidate

Okay, more questions. 1) Do you ever sit in a plush, velvet couch, while cradling a glass of wine in your claw-like fingers and idly stroking a cat? 2) If you could shout one word at God, what would it be? view post


posted 07 Aug 2005, 23:08 by target, Auditor

Super Frog, my friend, you are a genius. Or at least your questions are :D 1) no, i have never had the opportunity propperly. I don't own a cat, or a plush velvet couch, and i can't really afford wine at the moment. I have sat in a high-backed, rotating, leather chair whilst stroking a cat though. That was good fun. 2) If i could shout any one thing at God....hmmm.....i think it would have to be a rather incredulous.....BLIMEY! view post


posted 09 Aug 2005, 03:08 by Nauticus, Auditor

Hahaha Brilliant thread. [quote="Super Frog":3v3fmmtr]2) If you could shout one word at God, what would it be?[/quote:3v3fmmtr] Hmm... probably "JESUS CHRIST!" view post


posted 09 Aug 2005, 10:08 by target, Auditor

That's two words Nauticus :wink: view post


posted 09 Aug 2005, 12:08 by Echoex, Auditor

I'm an aethiest... I would shout "D'OHHHHHHH!!!" view post


posted 10 Aug 2005, 00:08 by Deerow, Auditor

Probably something obscene like "Dildo" or "Cockmunch" (does that count as one word?)...either that or "Salvation" to try and bribe my way in. view post


posted 10 Aug 2005, 00:08 by target, Auditor

I would think cockmunch would count as one word. It was certainly typed as one, and i don't think it would make sense as two separate words. Of course God is omniscient though, so i think any attempt at bribery wouldn't work. Unless God was feeling mischievous and decided to let you in for being cheeky. I think as log as you don't blaspheme i dont think he could be that harsh anyway. Being omnibenevolent, as the Catholic Church would have us believe, he couldn't really could he? If he was then that would be a falsety in the Roman Catholic dogma wouldn't it? Seen as that is the basis of the faith and, assuming this was the One, monotheistic deity of Roman Catholic proportions, wouldn't prove God fallible and thus tear apart the fabric of reality or something? That could be interesting. On a similar line of questioning, what aspect would you consider God would appear in, should he ever reveal himself to us? view post


posted 10 Aug 2005, 11:08 by Echoex, Auditor

A 24 foot Johnsonville Brat hydrolic bbq. view post


posted 10 Aug 2005, 14:08 by Cu'jara Cinmoi, Author of Prince of Nothing

[quote:39z0r29h]1) Do you ever sit in a plush, velvet couch, while cradling a glass of wine in your claw-like fingers and idly stroking a cat?[/quote:39z0r29h] You mean like Margaret Atwood? [quote:39z0r29h]2) If you could shout one word at God, what would it be?[/quote:39z0r29h] Bitch. view post


posted 10 Aug 2005, 18:08 by Lucimay, Subdidact

regarding the original subject of this post... i see no one's thought of anything even REMOTELY equal to or (heaven forbid) BETTER than peach. view post


posted 10 Aug 2005, 18:08 by Tattooed Hand, Auditor

cligina pronounced clij-eye-na I thought that one up over a few beers the other night... view post


posted 10 Aug 2005, 18:08 by Lucimay, Subdidact

hahahahahahah!!!! cligina!!! i love it! still...it doesn't provide the lucious and provacative imagery of "peach"! :lol: view post


posted 10 Aug 2005, 18:08 by Cu'jara Cinmoi, Author of Prince of Nothing

Even still, it goes well with our penicles... view post


posted 10 Aug 2005, 19:08 by Lucimay, Subdidact

:lol: :lol: :lol: hahahahahahaha!!!!! you two!!! TH and Scott!!!!! peas in a pod, the two of you!!!!! view post


posted 11 Aug 2005, 11:08 by Echoex, Auditor

[quote:6ventlw7]i see no one's thought of anything even REMOTELY equal to or (heaven forbid) BETTER than peach.[/quote:6ventlw7] At least he didn't call it a kumquat. .Ex. view post


posted 11 Aug 2005, 14:08 by Lucimay, Subdidact

:lol: i'm trying to think of something witty to say to that but i think you just out thought the lot of us, Echoex!!!!! :lol: view post


posted 11 Aug 2005, 14:08 by Super Frog, Candidate

[quote="target":3n5158zv]Super Frog, my friend, you are a genius. [/quote:3n5158zv] I know, I have a letter from God that says so. God is such a brown noser, I should probably stop talking to him. view post


posted 13 Aug 2005, 22:08 by target, Auditor

[quote="Super Frog":1bhvrzkl]I know, I have a letter from God that says so. God is such a brown noser, I should probably stop talking to him.[/quote:1bhvrzkl] I think that's a little too full of yourself :) By the way, is God and anthropomorphic personification of humanity divine? Or is he a voice in your head that delivers all these inspired thoughts to you? view post


posted 17 Aug 2005, 21:08 by Super Frog, Candidate

Alright, some more questions. 1) If you had to make a cereal, what would it be? Example: I would make exclamation point cereal because it would be so awesome. 2) Did you know that they made Church confessional boxes to stop Priests from assaulting women who came to confess? (mostly whores) view post


posted 17 Aug 2005, 23:08 by target, Auditor

How would and exclamation point cereal work? I can't quite figure it out. And i did not know, but thanks for the info, now i can wow all my friends with more intersting things than: if you divided all the lego in the world by the number of people, each person would have about 4 pieces. Although with the mass production of lego i'm sure the aerage rises daily, but i'm not sure.... view post


posted 18 Aug 2005, 01:08 by Super Frog, Candidate

[quote="target":275egjwe]How would and exclamation point cereal work? I can't quite figure it out. [/quote:275egjwe] I wondered for the longest time how they put hearts, moons, and clovers into Lucky charms, but then I realized that they were just shaped like moons and not actualy moons. I imagine it would be the same for Exclamation point cereal if they ever make it, which they should. view post


posted 18 Aug 2005, 22:08 by Deerow, Auditor

I think the main issue with exclamation point cereal is how to connect the stem to the dot...if they could do that I would eat it every day. view post


posted 18 Aug 2005, 22:08 by target, Auditor

That's what i was thinking. Although i suppose you just need to indent the gap, so that the dot and the stem are slightly raised (i've forgotten the clever term - what they often do with titles on book covers) then that would work, andi think i'd probably eat it too, as long as i could afford it. view post


posted 18 Aug 2005, 23:08 by Scilvenas, Auditor

Throw in some question marks and you call 'em [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interrobang:1s4t9yya]Interrobang[/url:1s4t9yya]ers... um, or something. view post


posted 19 Aug 2005, 00:08 by target, Auditor

Yeah, that would be awesome, i think someone should get right on that! Millions are in the making. view post


posted 19 Aug 2005, 11:08 by Echoex, Auditor

emboss. view post


posted 19 Aug 2005, 14:08 by Super Frog, Candidate

If someone gets rich off my idea, i'll smite them when I become master of the Universe. Thats "Universe" with a capital 'U' view post


posted 24 Aug 2005, 02:08 by target, Auditor

Emboss, thankyou, god im not having a good time thinking at the moment. Good for you Super Frog, that is only possible, however, if you consider the Universe to be a finite mass that is conquerable.....but still, good for you. I will have to be sneeky about releasing them in England..... view post


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